E, MEET F Seth McKelvey & Teseleanu George

E = Seth McKelvey

The Wizard is a super-dimensional homeless man living in London.  He is incredibly fond of his collection of bowler hats, his beard, strong whiskey, and ancient tomes containing secrets of unknowable knowledge and unworded wisdom.

F = Teseleanu George

HR is scientist by day and an artist by night.

E: Wha ha oh now, crazy on up next to m conjurations now.  Use em like a blanket if yeh like, ha.  That's right, ease on down.  No need to be a frightened by fire.

Well, well, it can't be an hour yet since I was readin th ol tome by the light a th supernova.  The sparks near caught my favrite brown bowler cap afire too.  Me, did I have t throw  i down in a hurreh, justa stomp it out, hyahah, kchhkch.  I threw it right down next to the drumstick that's been layin there five six days now.  Th rats leffit lone afta two.  Me, m bowler's bout ruint now.  But I was afeerd them sparks would jump down to ma beard.  I been growin that beard too long to let it burn fight off m face, ehheh.  I sure hate t lose that bowler though.  It's a mighty fine thing, m.  I bout smashed it flat, stompin on it, n I worry it wonever sit round on th top a m head agin.  And course it's all pocked full a holes now, like it was shot right off ma head with birdshot.

Though I'm right fine that it din't.  I'm jus glad I missed that ol chickn bone when I threw it down.

I just wasn't spectin ma light to get fussy like that.  But sos i goes.  Light don't ever get tired, does it?

But I'll be, I've near decrypt this ol pile a parchments.  Maybe I'll tell you what it says when I figger it all out.  So long as you bring me somethin good fore next time.  My mouth gets mighty dry.  If you could git me somethin t tickle the back a m throat, why, I'd be a mite tickled.  Jus somethin dry to wet my lips on.  Then I'll whistle all day fo yuh.  An if ya happen on a fine one, I reckon I'm on the bowler market agin.

Seer to yourself well now.

TW

E: Two days ago, I saw dis horse, and boy, wouldn't ya know it, that horse's tail nearly hung right off the canvas.  Plenty a room for is head though.  Right near two o three feet each above and t th right.  An e just hung there on his hind legs, forever imbalanced, jus waitin t fall ova.  But time's like that, ain't it.  Time don't always work the same fa all a us.  Furim, it jus stopped workin all togetha.  I'll givya that it's odd, though, for a motto.  Dey's a sad bit of white in is eye, maybe a piece of light that got stuck there when his time stopped.  N I know he's lookin right at me, givin me dat eye, but he means to be lookin at you.  He would iffy could.  Wouldn't ya know it?  Wouldn't?

Now now.  How bouts we jus disagree to disagree?

Best,
The

F: hello my dear friend

I received your letters a few days ago, but while I was walking towards the mailbox I got trapped in a time trap...I heard about them on television, but I never thought that I would experience one....The television always feed me lies, so why would this one be different...but this lies was different...it was a true lie...it's a good thing that I'm a lucky person or else I could have been trapped for a longer period of time....they showed on television a person that remained trapped for an year...imagine that...to remain frozen in time for an year...alone...only you and your thoughts....he was half crazy when they got him out...imagine that...an year motionless....I remained trapped only a few days and I don't have all my wheels in place, anymore....lucky me, that I got out in time......a friend of mine came to visit me...he has a nasty habit of ringing the bell and then entering the house...if no one is home, he usually leaves the house, but sometimes he waits for me on the couch....but this time, his nasty habit came to use, because he found me trapped....lucky me....and now that I'm free, I have some great plans...maybe I'll tell you once about them...

have a good time
HR

E: Mmm, at's a shame, ain't it?  Sounds like yh got a faulty connection there.  Them cuts jus keep goin deeper I guess.  The day sugar, the day onion.  Ain'at t truth.

Hackers is nasty too.  I ain't ever particularly found a use for em myself.  I don't consider em any sort of luck, I mean t say.

Nyway I took sum pliers n wire cuttas an I cut out a hunk a dis cage.  It's all fenced up inside a time now too.  Though I reckon i'll last a sight longern a few days o evn a year.  I mostly did i so em birds could escape tho pixies that's always torturin em, but I figgered I'd go head n send yuh th remains.  Find em enclosed.  I yuh can't open th tachment cuz the energys too small, wait n open when th lectricity gets on bigger.

The

P.S.  Try to igno th spots.  They won come out no matta how hard ya scrub.  Did I learn that.

F: hello my friend

nice cage, but in your place I would cook the birds and catch the pixies...I have some pixies in a jar and at night it's fascinating to look at them...they put a great lights show and after a while they start to sing...and they sing so beautiful...it's a pleasure, just to look at them, but when they start to sing I remain speechless...I know that caching them is a tricky business, but believe me, it's worth it...
in case you don't know how to cook the birds, just ask the cat...she is an expert at bird recipes...

have a great day
HR

E: Well I got a cache a jars aright.  Ther filled wi somthin a might strongern pixies tho.

T tell the truth...
Well I ain't ever evn seen no pixies befo.  An anyway, ain'ta jar jus a cage?

By th way, it was bright out tday, all full a sunny spots.  First we seen a th sun since before th dark, which is longern I can remember anyway.  Feels like a pine cone in ma brain.  I cain' tell if i in th way.  Haps I need a docta.  I won say no mor.

Censorly,
The Wizard

P.S.  I tried speakin t the cat but she just stuck er tail straight up like a finger n walkd a ways away.

E: I cnt git ma hands t stop shakin.  I'm so scared, I'm so ascared, I'm so askeered, I'm so scairt I dun know what t do I'm so afeerd whatama gonna do?  I can hardly evn speak I'm I'm my teeth won stop jumpin.  They said they gone make me sleep agin.  I'm so fraid a that cage I can't go in there oh please keep em away.  They wanted to know what was in th tome but I wouldn't tell em, no I wouldn't tell em and now they's angry and they want t steal m book and write words in it tht aren't there because I wouldn't tell em what the words meant that weren't there.  I won't tell em because they have t learn to read th words tht aren't for themselves.  But they gone steal ma book to do it and I wan t keep m book.  I like m book n I dun wanna giv it up.  Please please I'm so fraid.  They makin a trap for me and there s nothin I cn do t scape i. 

I'm worrid I won't wake up agin.

I guess it's all right.  I'm tryin t say it's all right.

Neither yours nor mine,
T. W.