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MAPS FOLIO: THE HAUSER MORGANA David Laskowski

To determine the direction of the Hauser-Protagonist, bellwethers from the Homerian Surety removed pages 21, 28, and 35 from his inner atlas, being that these pages contained the topographical approximations of several of the Hauser's most critical terrains. Bellwethers hoped that by comparing these specific maps they could predict tectonic shifts in the Hauser's ascending aortic emotion and help the Hauser avoid future histrionics.

Unfortunately, despite the success of the operation, there was no guarantee the maps would help bellwethers predict behavior since tectonic shifts can result from momentary rages, fleeting anger evictions strong enough to do the work it normally takes years to do. In addition, these maps are, at best, only illustrations, or representations of internal factions that can, in some cases, act irrationally.

That said, there was probably no better method for determining possible Hauser outcomes, especially since the Hauser was notoriously reserved. In fact, Hauser was so reserved he refused to grant permission for the operation. Bellwethers were only able to operate after receiving a compulsion-order from the High Pythagoras, an order that can be difficult to get, and, in this case, was.

However, unlike in other cases where at issue is the value of the protagonist, in the case of the Hauser there was great disagreement over the procedure bellwethers were to use in the operation. Bellwethers insisted on a simple bailiwick. The Ptolemaic Geography, who oversaw operations of this type, agreed with removal, but not of critical topographies. Rather, they suggested the removal of projective latitudes, the vertical assignations that run from the upper Parry to the lower Byrd. According to the Geography, these latitudes can suggest, if read properly, the overall trend of the aortic emotion and can, therefore, lead to more reliable predictions. Since, writes the Geography, latitudinal trysts remain constant there is no danger of giving too much weight to one event over another, a danger that can lead to catastrophe, as in the case of the Endurance-Proxy, who due an anxious relief, moored against his own dark passage.

Further complicating matters, the Pomponius-Antipodes, a temperate pentameter unique for its humidity, argued not for removal, but, rather, for the separation of the Hauser into five zones for the purposes of increasing indigenous acuity. Believing removal to be barbaric, the Antipodes argued for a recalibration, a revision, so to speak, of the inner atlas, a procedure that although invasive was less so than actual removal.

Inevitably, and most likely due their political influence, the bellwethers convinced the High Pythagoras that topographical removal would be best since, they argued, there was evidence that genetic legends were what determined behavior, not latitude or indigenous acuity. In addition, they claimed that as initiators of the Miletian-Oceanus they deserved, ironically enough, latitude.

Although the surgery was successful, it was not easy. Removal of topographical approximations, especially those as exact as the ones bellwethers sought to remove from the Hauser, requires a series of terrestrial incisions, or cuts that because of the angle of incision become more difficult to make the deeper one goes. Because, in other words, the topography is tiered, so to speak, by an occlusion of contours, the base layer of the topography, the most useful aspect of it, is hard to see and, thus, to remove.

Needed, therefore, are a specific set of tools that can access the base layer, specifically those that can maneuver around the topical drama that often colors the organic strata. Tools include a quadrantic evasion, a vernier scale, and a gender-specific sextant for calibrating maturity, all of which bellwethers used in extracting Hauser's approximations.

Interestingly enough, much of the work involved in an atlas extraction comes after the surgery, for the approximations still need interpretation. Although the bellwethers typically interpret their own atlases, in the case of Hauser, they brought in an expert since, the bellwethers told the High Pythagoras, the Hauser's severe depression made the pages extracted almost impossible to read.

The bellwethers called in geologist Wells Polly, a spatial actuarial specializing in terra-analytics, a form of Cartesian therapy based on a belief in perceptive existence. On viewing the Hauser atlas, Polly stated that Hauser's pages were the worst he had ever seen, "mottled," he told the High Pythagoras, "by random serotonin elevations and frequent cortisol spikes." It was no surprise, he said, that the Hauser needed help.

From the extracted material, Polly concluded that Hauser suffered from a compound imbalance, an elemental malformation of the experiential inhibitors, a condition that can cause severe awkwardness and uncertainty.

Yet, despite Polly's expertise, bellwethers were skeptical since, they claimed, although malformed inhibitors could cause such symptoms as awkwardness and uncertainty at twenty-one, they would be unlikely to cause such symptoms at twenty-eight and thirty-five. Polly agreed that such symptoms were atypical, although that meant little, he insisted. Symptoms could linger.

Suffice it to say, the High Pythagoras was not pleased since the removal had already cost the Principal Sanction a share of their coordinates. Even though the health of the Hauser was crucial to the continuance of the authorial legation, any more time, the High Pythagoras contended, could prove radical in regards to vertical perception. That was the last thing they needed, especially with the encroachment of the Geological Survey and Coastal Geodetics, both of which were threatening the Sanction's power.

Therefore, the bellwethers accepted Polly's conclusion and prepped Hauser, who was resistant to any further incursions, for the insertion of a spatial data infrastructure, a system of coordinated agreements that would allow the Hauser to perceive accurately his value and would therefore eradicate any need for medicinal immolation, a practice the Hauser had been utilizing since his late teens.

Unfortunately, this new procedure was even more dangerous than the removal of the pages of the inner atlas, for the new procedure required a manipulation of the cerebral indices responsible for language, a capacity crucial to the Hauser's health. Specifically, any manipulation of the indices could result in a loss of the Hauser's language capacity, a loss that would mean a weakening of the Sanction's power to define rules for the v and the o, which would mean a loss in the power to understand the topography of its citizens. Because the procedure required a major territorial expansion via the insertion of particular datum and processing services, the Hauser would have to reorient himself within a new spatial trajectory, one without topographic relief.

It was not that the Hauser did not understand the situation, it was, simply, that he did not care, a symptom, Polly argued, of the malformation. The Hauser disagreed. Although the bellwethers had heavily sedated the Hauser for the procedure, he managed to claim he was not suffering from a malformation, but was simply exercising his right to exclude himself from what he called a political process. As a citizen of the Sanction, he argued, he had the right to act awkwardly in social situations. It was his prerogative to be uncertain about his future, or to have a low opinion of himself. If he wanted to be depressed, who could stop him?

Unfortunately, the Sanction could. Although the Hauser's birthright allowed him to certain Sanction privileges, it did not allow him to be miserable. In fact, the Sanction required of Hauser, as a citizen, to pursue happiness, no matter his or her provincial bias. It is why the Sanction was able to order Hauser's initial procedure.

Therefore, with the blessing of the High Pythagoras, the bellwethers provided the Hauser with a new dataset based, of course, on Bacon's nautical innovations and, thankfully, it has proved fruitful for the Hauser who is resting comfortably, even though that is all he is doing. The bellwethers, as well, are satisfied since they already see an improvement in the Hauser's mood. He is eating, sleeping, and has taken an active interest in his own cartography, a real sign of improvement. In fact, the Hauser has even asked for a modular resonance in order to chart his progress. However, the bellwethers are being careful, as is their right, for they fear, that despite the Hauser's progress, errors could find their way into several of the Hauser's projections. Yet, they have hope, as does Hauser, who, for all hills and valleys, is doing the best he can.